Dancing Solo

With homecoming approaching for most schools, I want to give you a piece of advice. School dances are a lot of fun. They're exciting and full of memories. You either enjoy them or you don't, but that's all up to you. Last year, my senior year of high school, we had three dances, all of which I went solo. To the girls and guys who don't get a date, I feel you. I completely understand what it's like. Been there, done that (multiple times). And yes, it sucks. Knowing that you have to buy yourself flowers, you have to buy your own ticket, or you have to sit at the singles table, sucks. All around, it's not exciting to be aware of the fact that you have to watch your friends slow dance with their dates while you're off in the back by yourself or in a small group with the others who don't have a date. You may not be thrilled with the idea, but you know what? It's okay. I promise you, it's perfectly okay.

Having a date to a dance is considered a big deal, especially when most of your friends have one. It was for me, at least. Last year, I hoped for a date to every dance, but I didn't get one. At first, I was fine going to homecoming by myself because several of my friends were going solo and I wanted to experience a dance without a date. Side note, homecoming of senior year was the first dance I went to alone, and surprisingly, I had the absolute best time! It was great! When Snowball (our senior dance) came around, there were people I would've gone with, but I didn't put any effort into asking them because I was hoping to be asked. That was one of the problems. Sometimes we expect to be asked rather than putting ourselves in the position of asking a person because we're afraid of the answer, afraid of rejection. So, I once again went to a dance by myself. I was sitting at a table surrounded by couples along with one other friend who didn't have a date. Everyone at the table was my friend so it didn't bother me too much, but there was still a feeling of being left out floating around my mind. Pushing those thoughts aside, I chose to have a positive attitude and enjoy myself that night. The decision to do so was rewarding because this time the dance was even better than homecoming. 

Before I mention my third dance, I want to go back to the point I made about rejection. Nowadays, we are so afraid of what will happen next. We worry about such small things, and this can affect how we live life. Fear consumes us to the point where we don't have the courage to do something out of our comfort zone. Listen to this, I am a very shy person. I've grown out of this over the past year, but a part of me is still afraid to do little things out of fear of what the outcome will be. When my third dance came along, fear didn't stop me. Two of my closest friends pushed me to do something way out of my comfort zone, but I don't regret it one bit. With prom being my very last school dance, the pressure for finding a date was high. I was tired of going alone. I was feeling pity for myself. When my friends suggested that I ask this one guy to prom, I thought they were crazy. Of all people, I would definitely be the last person you would expect to do that, but since this was my last dance, I agreed. You only live once, right?!

On a whim, I took my chance. At this point, I wasn't afraid of the outcome. Knowing that whether it turned out good or bad, I would at least feel proud of myself for taking a chance. Long story short, he said no. I was rejected, but it wasn't awful. He's a great guy, so there's no hard feelings towards him. He wanted to take someone else, and I completely understood. I will admit, it was very upsetting because it took a lot in me to find the courage to ask. Although it didn't turn out as well as I had hoped, I had to move on and accept that I would be going alone to my last dance. The thought of it put me in a bad mood. By this point, I was dreading it, yet I still chose to go because I wanted to make the most of it. 

You're probably confused as to why I'm sharing all of this with you. My point is, go to the dance! Solo or not, go! Live it up and have fun. Even after seeing my friends get asked and after being rejected, I still chose to go when I wasn't feeling up to it. If this is the position you're in, please do not be discouraged. You will be thankful you didn't miss out on the dance. Don't let the little things bring you down. Instead, choose to take in every moment whether it be how you want it to turn out or not. Take chances. Ask that guy or girl to the dance! No matter the outcome, you will learn so much about yourself when you choose to take a leap of faith. It will help you find confidence. I can gladly say it showed me I was capable of more than I thought when fear didn't get in my way. Looking back, I have no regrets, for I learned how to become confident in myself and I wish that for you too.

The dances were so enjoyable. I actually preferred going solo because I got to get dressed up and feel glamorous without having to worry about anyone else but me. I know that sounds conceited, but it doesn't matter! You deserve it. Be a little conceited for the night. Not too much, but use the night to have fun for yourself! Walk onto that dance floor with a huge smile on your already beautiful face, keep your head held high, and dance your heart out. A positive attitude goes a long way, not a negative one. Good thoughts are what make the memories count! So, if you have to buy yourself flowers, then buy yourself as many flowers as you want! There's no shame in that. I've done it, you can too. Sending you lots of love!!!

No Date = No Problem (; 

Keep on Smiling.

Date or no date, you can still feel beautiful.